The University of Rochester, University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign, and the Interdisciplinary Center (IDC) Herzliya in Israel each conducted studies to see if they could finally find the "possible mechanism" that makes women just so indifferent to nice men on first meetings, yet so gung-go about dudes who don't give them the time of day. Not surprisingly, things are still inconclusive:"While the studies shed some light on why men find responsive women more sexually desirable…
researchers are still unsure why women are less sexually attracted to responsive strangers than men." Well then. "Lead researcher, Gurit Birnbaum, suggested that we might act this way because we perceive that niceness in a negative light, "as inappropriately nice and manipulative (i.e., trying to obtain sexual favors) or eager to please, perhaps even as desperate." Desperation is never attractive and if we feel that a man's kindness is just so he can get us into bed, then of course we’re going to snub, then eventually reject them.
But what was reconfirmed was that while men found women who paid attention to them and responded to them to be attractive, women were actually turned off by such behavior from guys; their possible sexual desire was just killed right there on the spot. You can't blame a woman for wanting to protect herself.
I asked relationship expert Dina Colada, author of , her take on the matter.
A defining factor of marriage is that it’s a sexual relationship, and there should be joy in that.