" And while it is true that many people are capable of doing just that, at least as many or more are incapable of having impulsive one-night stands because they too have a history of trauma, or because they have other psychological, physical, or logistical issues that make one-night stands impossible.
(Some folks, of course, have no interest in one-night stands.) Your trauma left you with this added burden, SCARED, and I don't want to minimize your legitimate frustration or your anger.
Professional Matchmakers work with you to determine the exact type of man or woman that would be best for you, and then do their best to find that person and introduce you two. By getting you into an amazing relationship with your best friend and love of your life! What part of your life isn’t improved by the company of the right person?
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Certainly your chances improve if you put yourself in the company of others who also care enough about their happiness to admit “their way” isn’t working and invest in their future relationship success. If you are a mature, accomplished, single person seeking a lasting relationship.
And you can get yourself into the company of others with the same goal, you will not be single for long.
I've had a lot of first dates, but nothing beyond that. The idea of casual sex and one-night stands sounds great—but in reality, moving that quickly with someone I don't know or trust freaks me out, causes me to shut down, and prevents me from enjoying anything.
Even thinking about going home with someone causes me to panic. But now that I'm single, it seems like this big, scary thing.
Demisexuals, other victims of trauma, people with body-image issues, people whose sexual interests are so stigmatized they don't feel comfortable disclosing them to people they've just met—lots of people face the same challenge you do.